My visit to get screened for cancer:

  • Nurse: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
  • Me: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
  • Nurse: "So he's your...."
  • Me: "Friend."
  • Nurse: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
  • Me: "11."
  • Nurse: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
  • Me: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
  • Nurse: "You're sexually active, then."
  • Me: "Well....I guess...but..."
  • Nurse: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
  • Me: "Uh. 0."
  • Nurse: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
  • Me: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
  • Nurse: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
  • Me: "With homosexuality."
  • Nurse:
  • Me:
  • Nurse:
  • Me: "I fuck girls."